When The No Contact Phase Is Over
This article is meant to be read only after you have followed the "no contact rule" with your ex for at least 30 days. Make sure that you know
what "no contact" means and that you have followed the rules.
Also, you need to have gotten control of your emotions by this point. It is important that you are feeling good
about yourself, that you have your confidence back, and that you have worked on your self-esteem. This is also a
good time to work on making small changes for the better to your physical appearance (e.g., changing your hair or
losing five pounds).
Once you meet all these criteria and you know seeing your ex won’t cause you to get upset or anxious, you are ready
to start moving forward. It's now time to contact your ex via phone but remember three things;
1. Make the call at a time when your ex will be free and will be alone.
2. Keep the conversation positive and make sure you use an upbeat tone of voice.
3. Don’t talk any longer than about 10 or 15 minutes.
What should your conversation be about? Ask your ex how things are going for him or her. Talk about the positive
things that have happened in your life. You can mention a specific memory of something you both enjoyed together if
it is done in a casual way.
Don’t make this a serious conversation; keep it very light. Talk as if you are calling a friend you haven’t
talked to in awhile. Don’t discuss the relationship or any issues that you two had in it. Never ask if your ex has
The reason you are calling is to talk to your ex for the purpose of asking him or her out. The invitation needs to
be done casually and should not put pressure on your ex. Ask if your ex would meet you for lunch or if he or she
would like to go to the mall with you. Don’t suggest anything that will be very long or serious -- no movies, no
dinners, and no visits to the park.
As long as you keep the conversation cheerful and not too serious, and you don’t suggest a serious or long date,
your ex is probably going to agree to meet you. However, this is not always the case. If your ex doesn't agree to
meet you, you have to just let it go and not let him or her see that you are upset.
Whatever you do, don’t beg your ex to meet you if he or she has already said no. Just say, "Alright, just
thought I'd ask. Maybe next time." This will show your ex that you have matured. Your ex is more likely to have a
favorable impression of you after the phone conversation.
Even if your ex does not agree to meet you, you can be proud of yourself if the conversation goes well. This is
only one part of the plan to win your ex back. The key is to think positively and reflect that in your attitude and
your actions. Let your ex see that you are someone he or she wants to be with. For all you know, your ex may have
already changed his or her mind and come back to you.
And if they haven't yet, don't worry too much. I have another method that will have them practically falling
over themselves to get back with you..........