Are You Tired of Arguing With Your Partner?

A lot of marriages turn into nothing more than a series of arguments. You and your spouse may argue about finances, disciplining the kids, and what to do on the weekends. You may feel like there is nothing that you don’t argue about because any time you try to have a conversation with your spouse, it ends up with the two of you yelling at each other.

Couples can develop a habit of arguing. The way you talk and think becomes aggressive and combative. All relationships are going to have some conflict so the key is to learn how to handle the conflict. A couple that handles conflict well will be happily married while a couple that doesn’t may end up divorced.

All the arguing is very likely a sign that there are some serious problems in your marriage. Sometimes resentment and anger build up in a marriage. When that happens, these emotions are expressed constantly. If you have a lot of resentment about your husband spending time with his friends, you are going to become angry whenever he even talks about his friends around you.

The problem is your spouse does not know how you feel when he does what he does. He is not doing anything wrong by talking about his friends but you are upset because you feel he puts his friends before you. You react in a negative and angry way and the argument just gets worse and worse. The real problem is not addressed.

Fight Fair

You may be arguing the wrong way instead of the right way. All marriages are going to have arguments every so often. While a few arguments between a husband and wife are normal, having numerous intense arguments can cause serious problems in a marriage.

When you and your spouse argue all the time, your marriage may be in trouble. It is easy for spouses to figure out how to make their partner angry. You know what to tell your spouse to make him angry so you choose angry words so you can express your emotions. It is not a good way to express yourself, though.

All you have to do to start a fight with your spouse is tell him that he always makes you upset and that if he keeps doing whatever he is doing, you will leave him. This type of communication will cause your spouse to be defensive. It is important to learn how to communicate in a way that is going to be positive instead of negative.

Work on Listening

If you are having arguments that get out of hand, your relationship may be in trouble. If you keep having the same fights with your husband, you are obviously not solving the problems that is causing them. You need to think about what it is your husband needs before you get angry at him.

If you think about how your husband’s best friend is going through a rough time, it makes sense that he would spend a lot of time with him. He doesn’t want to worry you so he doesn’t talk to you about it but he gets angry if you bring it up.

It is not easy to stop a pattern of arguing once you and your spouse get started on this road. You both are quick to say things that hurt each other and once you do that, you cannot take them back and can’t stop the argument. It is important to express how you really feel instead of focusing on your emotions.

It is a good idea to work with a counselor who can help you learn how to express yourself in a healthier way. One thing you need to do is focus on using "I" statements when talking to your spouse. Don’t focus on what is wrong with your spouse. Instead, talk about how you feel and what you think. That makes it easier to communicate and avoid arguments.

Counseling is very important if changing your behavior by yourself is not working for you. If you let the arguing go on, you can ruin your marriage and you may end up divorced. Arguing about the same things over and over doesn’t solve a problem. A counselor will be able to work with you to figure out what the problems really are and how you can work on solving them.



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