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Emotional Abuse Leaves No Visible Scars

Emotional abuse leaves no scars, at least not ones that are visible from the outside. That is not to say it is less serious than physical abuse. Emotional abuse is still a type of domestic violence because of how it is used to control another person.

You do not get hit, kicked, or shoved with emotional abuse. Emotional abuse involves an attack in your self-esteem by chipping away at your self-worth until you have none left. A lot of people think that someone suffering emotional abuse should just leave but it is simply not that easy. When you are a victim of emotional abuse, you lose all your self-esteem and start to feel like you cannot even make a simple decision.

There are many different forms of emotional abuse but the goal is always the same. Abusers want to have total control over their victims. Unlike physical abuse which leaves a bruise or a broken bone that proves you were attacked, emotional abuse does not leave any type of bruise, scar, or broken bone to show what happened to you. Emotional abuse can be seen, however, if you know the signs. Someone who has suffered severe emotional abuse may find it difficult to make a decision unless he or she makes sure it is alright with his or her spouse. Being fearful is the main sign of emotional abuse.

The following are some ways that abusers control victims with emotional abuse:

1. The abuser makes the victim uncomfortable being himself or herself and makes the victim feel that he or she is not trustworthy.

2. The abuser yells at, cusses at, and calls the victim names.

3. The abuser insults the victim in public.

4. The abuser threatens to leave or divorce the victim all the time.

5. The abuser attacks the victim with angry words for no reason.

6. The abuser spies on the victim and gets angry about things the victim did.

7. The abuser accuses the victim of things the victim never did.

Emotional abuse occurs with a specific pattern of behavior. The abuser will have an emotional outburst that is frightening for the victim so the victim will be submissive and feel the need to apologize. The abuser may tell the victim that although he is sorry, the reason he acts the way he does is that the victim acts and talks in a way that is wrong.

Intimidation is the Name of the Game

Emotional abuse is all about intimidation. An abuser will look at the victim and gesture at him or her in a way that causes fear. Generally, an emotional abuser doesn't inflict physical pain on the victim. He might start yelling and screaming and move to strike, but the emotional abuser will not actually hit his victim.

Many people think that it is much worse to suffer from emotional abuse than physical abuse because it leaves no scars. If you are a victim of emotional abuse, people may not see or believe what you tell them if you try to get help. The courts even sometimes fail to recognize emotional abuse as a form of domestic violence.

No relationship with emotional abuse is a healthy one. Other types of abuse often accompany emotional abuse in relationships which results in battering. Battering occurs when the abuser not only tries to control the victim psychologically and emotionally; he is also physically violent towards the victim. All types of domestic abuse are dangerous.

How to Get Help

If your spouse or partner is battering you or using emotional abuse to control you, it is important that you leave the situation as soon as possible and look for help. There is no reason for anyone to put up with any abuse, especially from a person you love and who is supposed to love you.

People who are being emotionally abused often have a hard time taking this step and leaving. Emotional abuse wears down the victim’s self-esteem and makes it very difficult for them to stand up for themselves. Anyone who is a victim of emotional abuse needs to talk to a friend or family member he or she trusts or better yet talk to an experienced therapist. It is important that victims of emotional abuse get out of their home and to somewhere that allows them space from the abuser.

It may sound like this is all very easy to do but if you are being abused, it is much more complicated. The danger of emotional abuse is just the same as from physical abuse. Emotional abuse often leads to physical abuse so you should fix the problem now instead of waiting.

An abusive partner who loves you will want to get help for his or her issues. You will have to be patient and know that it takes time but therapy can help you rebuild your relationship. This only works, though, if you both want to avoid a permenant break up and if your abuser is able to say he or she needs help and wants to get it. As a victim of emotional abuse, you should also seek therapy.

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