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Don't Let Your Insecurity About What Your Partner Did in the Past Ruin Your Relationship

A lot of people have no issues concerning the past actions of their partner. They know that was a long time ago so they don’t feel that it affects their relationship now. Some people are insecure about their partner's past, though. Perhaps you are one of those people. Know that there are many others in the same boat. You have probably heard that you just have to deal with it but that's easier said than done.

You need to determine what is making you feel insecure about your partner’s past. Do you get jealous easily? Does it upset you to imagine your partner’s past? Are you afraid you cannot measure up to the people your partner has been with in the past because you have less experience with sex? Are you afraid of your partner cheating on you?

There is a way to deal with your insecurity no matter what is causing it. The following are some tips to help you mentally overcome your issues.

1. Don’t demand your partner to reassure you constantly. When you do this, your partner will get annoyed. You are also not taking responsibility for your insecurity and dealing with it on your own. You may feel better when your partner tells you not to worry because no one in his or her past can compare to you but that only lasts for a short time and it doesn’t resolve your insecurity issues.

2. Don’t dwell on your partner’s past. Get rid of the destructive thoughts about your partner’s relationships with others of any kind. You will have to work on this but it is an important step in learning to accept your partner. Worrying about the past is not helpful.

3. Provide yourself with reassurance. If you have troubled thoughts and doubts, tell yourself that your partner loves you and has chosen to be with you so the past doesn’t matter. If you handle your troubling thoughts in this manner, it will become a habit and you will find that the thoughts bother you less and less.

4. Focus on the present, not the past. If you and your partner have a strong relationship, why destroy it by focusing on the past? Your partner’s past does not involve you but you are part of his or her present and potentially the future. That is what you should think about. Enjoy the time you have together and don’t ruin what you have built with negative thoughts.
 
5. Let it go! Don’t forget that you also have a past just like your partner and there is nothing that can be done about it. You can’t control the past but you are in control of your future. If you start to get upset about the past, tell yourself to let it go. The insecurity isn’t real; it is just your mind focusing on the wrong thing. If you let the insecurity win, you can ruin a truly great relationship.
 
These five suggestions can help you overcome your insecurity and focus on the future you have with your partner instead of the past that you cannot change.

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