What to Do When a Marriage Fails

A marriage is not over unless one of the spouses quits. One person can keep trying to fix a troubled relationship and somehow succeed. However, for most married couples, it takes mutual agreement and dedication for marriage recovery to be achieved.

Multiple reasons abound as to why someone would not want to recover a marriage that has been broken. Physical or emotional abuse, criminal activities, and infidelity are some of these reasons, and its probably a good idea to accept the end of the relationship and to move on. However, it doesn’t always mean that quitting the relationship is the way to go for everyone.

If both you and your spouse, despite anything that you have gone through, find that you still love each other and want to be together, then the marriage can be saved. When you first became a couple, surely there was a lot of love. And love can still bring you back together. Realize, however, that saving your marriage is not going to be easy, and that it takes more than love to do so. It cannot be done overnight, but with dedication and persistence, you will succeed.

Prior to encouraging your spouse to take your lead, assess yourself. Know your own problems and admit your share in your marital deterioration. Try to change and improve. Know also where you are going.  Do your best to improve yourself first before looking to the other.

Try to assess the problem from your spouse’s viewpoint. It is also a good idea for both of you to discuss your thoughts and feelings. When you see how your spouse feels and you begin to understand things from your spouse's perspective, you can repair the relationship and move forward.

If both of you are working to repair the marriage, show your love and gratitude towards each other. Give appreciative comments towards your spouse's efforts, and without expecting them, you may also receive such compliments.

When you make a mistake again, admit the error and apologize. Acceptance is triumph in these cases. But also know that there are those who have a limit in their capacity to forgive and accept the consequences.

Spend time together and actively make time for each other, especially if lack of time together is a major cause of your marital trouble. Enjoy mutually interesting activities -- hobbies, games, or projects in the home. These times together are great ways to bond.  Even if you have problems, bonding can help you gain a positive attitude to face problems in your marriage. Quality time together is also one of the better means in expressing your love and care for your spouse.

If you both think that your marriage has gone far beyond the point of repair, then accept it. Face the situation. Think that it is okay to let go than to keep being miserable. Accept or even ask for the support of friends and family. Know that there is still someone out there who will love you.



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