What to Do When a Marriage Fails
A marriage is not over unless one of the spouses quits. One person can keep trying to fix a troubled
relationship and somehow succeed. However, for most married couples, it takes mutual agreement and dedication for
marriage recovery to be achieved.
Multiple reasons abound as to why someone would not want to recover a marriage that has been broken. Physical or
emotional abuse, criminal activities, and infidelity are some of these reasons, and its probably a good idea to
accept the end of the relationship and to move on. However, it doesn’t always mean that quitting the relationship
is the way to go for everyone.
If both you and your spouse, despite anything that you have gone through, find that you still love each other
and want to be together, then the marriage can be saved. When you first became a couple, surely there was a lot of
love. And love can still bring you back together. Realize, however, that saving your marriage is not going to be
easy, and that it takes more than love to do so. It cannot be done overnight, but with dedication and persistence,
you will succeed.
Prior to encouraging your spouse to take your lead, assess yourself. Know your own problems and admit your share
in your marital deterioration. Try to change and improve. Know also where you are going. Do your best to
improve yourself first before looking to the other.
Try to assess the problem from your spouse’s viewpoint. It is also a good idea for both of you to discuss your
thoughts and feelings. When you see how your spouse feels and you begin to understand things from your spouse's
perspective, you can repair the relationship and move forward.
If both of you are working to repair the marriage, show your love and gratitude towards each other. Give
appreciative comments towards your spouse's efforts, and without expecting them, you may also receive such
When you make a mistake again, admit the error and apologize. Acceptance is triumph in these cases. But also
know that there are those who have a limit in their capacity to forgive and accept the consequences.
Spend time together and actively make time for each other, especially if lack of time together is a major cause
of your marital trouble. Enjoy mutually interesting activities -- hobbies, games, or projects in the home. These
times together are great ways to bond. Even if you have problems, bonding can help you gain a positive
attitude to face problems in your marriage. Quality time together is also one of the better means in expressing
your love and care for your spouse.
If you both think that your marriage has gone far beyond the point of repair, then accept it. Face the
situation. Think that it is okay to let go than to keep being miserable. Accept or even ask for the support of
friends and family. Know that there is still someone out there who will love you.