How to Save Your Marriage From Divorce

Many couples are crying in despair. They want to save their marriage and avoid divorce but they are at a loss as to where or how to start. Not a few people go into marriage wearing rose-colored glasses. They have high expectations about the marriage. But then, way too many marriages start off in troubled waters. The marriage, like a ship, starts to sink not too long after the marriage vows have been exchanged.

If you find yourself in a marriage in rough waters, don't despair. It is incredibly hard to admit to yourself that your marriage is heading for divorce. Many people often go into denial. And it's perfectly understandable because who would want to admit failure? If you truly love your spouse and want your marriage to work, you will find the determination to find help -- a lifesaver -- and keep your marriage from sinking to the bottom.

A failing marriage can't be instantly healed; no magic words can do that. Sometimes, however, the right words can steer you toward the right direction. The first step, of course, is acceptance. Accept the fact that your marriage is in trouble. While not impossible, it can be very hard to save a marriage if only one person wants to work toward saving it. You and your spouse need to want to save your marriage.

Most marriages stand a better chance of avoiding divorce if steps are taking early enough. However, many couples go on with their lives completely unaware that their marriage is headed into troubled waters. They become too wrapped up in their own world or get too busy doing their own thing that they completely miss the tell-tale signs that their marriage is in trouble.

If you or your spouse start doing things on your own or start referring to "me" instead of "we", take that as a sign of a troubled marriage. If both of you begin to be interested only in what is good for you individually, soon enough you'll lose your desire to keep your marriage strong. A lack of affection is also one sign of a troubled marriage. If you or your spouse have been staying away from home or delaying coming home from work to avoid each other, you need to take steps to heal your marriage.

Refusing to get counseling is also one sign of a troubled marriage. You and your spouse need to work together in order for your marriage to succeed. If you both know that you have marriage problems, you need to be willing to seek professional marriage counseling so you can work on your marriage. If your spouse refuses to talk to you about your marriage problems, there's a good chance that he or she won't want to talk to a marriage counselor either.

How often have you and your spouse been arguing or fighting lately? More importantly, what have you been fighting or arguing over? If you have been fighting about petty things, it's time to take stock. If you truly want to save your marriage, you'll learn to overlook the petty things. Instead of constantly criticizing each other, you'll compliment each other and be more respectful.

While your values and commitments change, the respect and love you hold for each other should remain constant. You can even save your marriage if you consciously change how you relate to your spouse. You'll be more willing to concede or make compromises. Your pride will not get in the way of you and your spouse having a good marriage.



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